


The Fight Me Squad

by Rulerofyouall



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, LGBTQ Character, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, M/M, Machines, Magic, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pictures, Sick Character, Sick Loki (Marvel), Sickfic, Spiders, Texting, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofyouall/pseuds/Rulerofyouall
Summary: Thunderer: Why do we not share resemblance?Trickster God: Because you are obviously the adopted one you oafbetterthanstark: what r u doingThunderer: If my brother is the adopted one, why is he so similar to our sister???I am Iron Man: Wait you have a sister???





	1. Creation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RatchetFangirls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatchetFangirls/gifts).



> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC
> 
> THANOS IS DEAD BUT EVERYONE LIVES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.
> 
> ATTENTION: I HAVE DETERMINED THAT IT ISNT UPLOADING COMPLETELY BECAUSE OF MY EMOJIS, SO ILL JUST TYE THEM OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC.

**3:00 am**

_betterthanstark has created a new group chat_

_betterthanstark has renamed the group chat The Fight Me Squad_

_betterthanstark added spiderman_

 

betterthanstark: Yo

 

betterthanstark: Peter get ur skinny white ass over here.

 

spiderman: what

 

betterthanstark: why r u awake 

 

spiderman: why not is the real question

 

betterthanstark: Whatever. Add stark.

 

spiderman: Why???

 

betterthanstark: Because I'm adding everyone I know

 

spiderman: wow.

 

betterthanstark: I know. Think of the chaos

 

**3:14 am**

_betterthanstark added King of Wakanda_

_betterthanstark added Bucky_

 

King of Wakanda: Sister, what is this?

 

betterthanstark: Group chat for us all

 

Bucky: Really???

 

_Bucky added Steve_

 

Bucky: Steveeeee

 

Steve: Bucky?

 

Bucky: Add people to the chat steveee!

 

Steve: *ok emoji*

 

betterthanstark: *snorts*

 

Bucky: Wait how did you add the picture

 

Bucky: Steve how did you add it

 

Bucky: steveeee

 

Steve: It is by the keyboard.

 

Bucky: *ok emoji* *ok emoji* *ok emoji*

 

betterthanstark: Nice dudes *snorts* *ok emoji*

 

spiderman: Is that Captain America???

 

betterthanstark: Yes catch up Peter

 

_Steve added S. Wilson_

_Steve added Scarlet Witch_

_spiderman added I am Iron Man_

 

I am Iron Man: Kid, why are you awake?

 

spiderman: Why are YOU awake?

 

_Scarlet Witch added Vision_

 

Vision: Greetings, Wanda.

 

Scarlet Witch: Hey, Vis.

 

_S. Wilson changed their name to betterthanbucky_

_Bucky changed their name to betterthansam_

 

betterthanstark: Nice.

 

betterthanbucky: Who is this?

 

betterthanstark: Princess Shuri. 

 

_betterthansam changed their name to samsucks_

 

**3:30 am**

Steve: Buck, Sam, behave.

 

betterthanbucky: YOU SONOVA BICTH

 

betterthanstark: Yes, she is a bitch

 

spiderman: B-I-C-T-H

 

_Steve added BlackWidow21_

_Steve added I can fight too_

 

I can fight too: Hey guys

 

BlackWidow21: Clint, we all know you can fight.

 

I can fight too: Then why is everyone always giving me so much shit about having a bow and arrow???

 

I am Iron Man: *captain america voice* WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE

 

BlackWidow21: Because they are idiots clint

 

_I can fight too has changed their name to The one and only Hawkeye_

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Thanks, Nat. Why do you have a 21 in it?

 

BlackWidow21: Because BlackWidow was taken

 

Steve: Why are so many people awake right now? You all need proper sleep and rest.

 

samsucks: why are you awake then huh?

 

I am Iron Man: Very good question. Why is good old Steve awake?

 

I am Iron Man: Emphasis on old.

 

Steve: Old enough to make my own decisions more like it.

 

samsucks: I'm older than you

 

Steve: You are.

 

samsucks: GO TO BED STEVIEEEE

 

_Steve has gone offline_

 

spiderman: did that just happen?

 

betterthanstark: Savageeee

 

samsucks: Damn straight

 

I am Iron Man: Did you just give grandpa a bedtime.

 

samsucks: Yea. You gotta have control over your youngsters

 

I am Iron Man: Oh. PETERRRR GO TO BED

 

spiderman: pETer gO To BEd

 

I am Iron Man: I give up

 

_I am Iron Man added Rhodster_

_I am Iron Man added Banner_

 

King of Wakanda: What is the purpose of the random capital letters?

 

betterthanstark: brother have you been creeping this whole time?

 

Vision: I will admit that I have been as well.

 

Banner: Tony why

 

I am Iron Man: BRUCE! Tis a group chat!

 

Banner: I see you've excluded Thor.

 

I am Iron Man: Thor has a phone?

 

spiderman: THOR HAS A PHONE AKDJFHUEJ??

 

betterthanstark: Shush, Peter

 

_Banner added Thunderer_

 

Banner: There we go. He got one after Thanos died.

 

I am Iron Man: eugh that guy

 

Thunderer: GREETINGS FRIENDS!!!

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Hey dude!

 

Thunderer: BANNER HAS MOST GENEROUSLY INTRODUCED ME TO THIS TECHNOLOGY. I LIKE IT VERY MUCH.

 

BlackWidow21: Why do you have Caps Lock on?

 

Thunderer: IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? I AM STILL UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS DEVICE. HOW DO I GET RID OF IT?

 

BlackWidow21: Press the Caps Lock button again.

 

Thunderer: oh. but now all the letters are small.

 

Thunderer: wait loki is teaching me new stuff

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Loki? Seriously?

 

Scarlet Witch: He was quite helpful in the final battle against Thanos.

 

Thunderer: Greetings, friends! I have been thoroughly instructed on the matter now.

 

King of Wakanda: Hello, King Thor.

 

Thunderer: Not necessary, my friend. I'm not king of much anymore.

 

**4:15 am**

_Banner added Trickster God_

 

Thunderer: BROTHERRRRR!!!!!

 

I am Iron Man: what have you done

 

spiderman: YAASSS

 

I am Iron Man: Peter, what?

 

spiderman: He deserves a chance, Mr. Stark! He is a misunderstood hero!

 

Trickster God: I like you.

 

Thunderer: Brother, are you all right? You are tearing up.

 

Trickster God: am NOT

 

Thunderer: Yes, you are. We are in the same room.

 

Trickster God: Well, why would you mention it you buffoon? We are sitting right next to each other!!!

 

I am Iron Man: Hate to disappoint you, Reindeer Games, but you are texting him too while sitting right next to each other.

 

_Trickster God has left the group chat_

 

Thunderer: Noooooo

 

_Thunderer added Trickster God_

 

Trickster God: *knife emoji*

 

Banner: HES GOT A KNIFE

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Shit just got reallll

 

betterthanbucky: how would a knife be in any way effective?

 

Trickster God: *knife emoji*

 

samsucks: CREEPER ALERT

 

betterthanbucky: Shut the fucking hell up you tricked out geezer

 

 samsucks: Ok so now you are brave because Stevie went to sleep. Of course

 

betterthanbucky: Shut up

 

betterthanbucky: I'm serious though. How is a knife effective?

 

Trickster God: *knife emoji*

 

Thunderer: I find myself wondering the same thing. Why, brother, did you try to kill Thanos with a plain old knife instead of using your arsenal of magic?

 

Trickster God: There is a lot on my mind I HAVE A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW

 

spiderman: mood

 

betterthanstark: big mood

 

Thunderer: You mean you forgot you had magic?

 

Trickster God: No of course not you blithering oaf

 

Thunderer: Why are you blushing that much?

 

Trickster God: Why are you missing an eye?

 

Thunderer: Hela ripped it out. You know this.

 

Trickster God: IT IS RHETORICAL.

 

Thunderer: Why do we not share resemblance?

 

Trickster God: Because you are obviously the adopted one you oaf

 

betterthanstark: what r u doing

 

Thunderer: If my brother is the adopted one, why is he so similar to our sister???

 

I am Iron Man: Wait you have a sister???

 

Thunderer: That, we do, Man of Iron. Loki and I only discovered her existence recently.

 

Trickster God: Which we wouldn't have had to do if Odin was upfront and honest about everything.

 

betterthanstark: Salt

 

**4:47 am**

_Trickster God has c_ _hanged their name to Woe is me_

 

Thunderer: Brother, that is all in the past.

 

Woe is me: That changes nothing.

 

Thunderer: You were always my favorite.

 

_Woe is me has left the group chat_

_Thunderer added Woe is me_

 

Thunderer: You can't just leave the group chat every time you start to cry!

 

_Woe is me has changed their name to I hate Thor_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions welcome!


	2. Bruce's Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce shows the others some...sensitive documents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is out of character. Thank you for your support guys. It helps a lot. ;)

**1:34 pm**

Banner: Hey, guys.

 

I am Iron Man: sup

 

Banner: Look what I managed to record. *Video link*

_It is a video recorded by Bruce. He walks towards the couch and finds Thor and Loki sprawled on top of each other fast asleep. They must have been in the middle of an argument or a fight because of their position and the fact that Loki is carrying a knife. Bruce snorts._

 

spiderman: IS THIS REAL????

 

betterthanstark: seems so, fanboy

 

spiderman: OMG

 

_I hate Thor has changed their name to I hate Banner._

 

Banner: Childish

 

I hate Banner: Watch you back.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Ooo, things are heating up.

 

I hate Banner: You wouldn't want to find roaches in your pillowcase, would you?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Savage

 

Thunderer: I think that is a simply marvelous moment that has been captured!

 

I hate Banner: You would you simpleton

 

Steve: Bruce, do you really think it was a good idea to do that?

 

Banner: Yes.

 

Steve: Did you think about the consequences?

 

I hate Banner: YES

 

Banner: No

 

I hate Banner: FEAR ME YOU PATHETIC MORTAL

 

Thunderer: But brother, is it not you who normally is fearful of Banner?

 

betterthanstark: OHHHHHH

 

_I hate Banner has changed their name to Kill me now._

 

spiderman: Moooddd

 

Kill me now: I am not fearful of Banner. Who could be afraid of such a small minded Midgardian?

 

I am Iron Man: YOU DID NOT JUST CALL BRUCE SIMPLE MINDED REINDEER GAMES

 

Kill me now: Of course I did. Can you read?

 

I am Iron Man: Shuri kick him off the chat

 

betterthanstark: No

 

I am Iron Man: Peter get Shuri to kick him off the chat.

 

betterthanstark: silence, white boy.

 

spiderman: Sorry, Mr. Stark.

 

betterthanstark: SILENCE

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Aww Thor and Loki are so cuteeeee

 

_Kill me now has changed their name to Trickster God_

_Trickster God has left the group chat._

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Seriously????

 

_Thunderer added Trickster God_

 

Trickster God: Was that really necessary? Let me weep in peace

 

Thunderer: Of course! What would this group chat be without you????

 

BlackWidow21: You really want us to answer that?

 

Thunderer: EVERYTHING GETS BETTER WHEN MY BABY BROTHER IS INVOLVED

 

Trickster God: Except for, you know, New York.

 

Thunderer: Nay

 

BlackWidow21: Do you know how many casualties there were?

 

Thunderer: Loki was not himself then. The Chitauri and Thanos were.

 

Trickster God: wow thank you for that unpleasant reminder

 

Thunderer: You are very much welcome!!!

 

spiderman: um

 

Trickster God: No, I didn't mean it like that

 

spiderman: yea that was what I was about to say

 

Trickster God: you are such an oblivious fool

 

Scarlet Witch: Thor does have a very good point. Loki was a pawn in a bigger scheme.

 

Vision: Yes. Similar to Wanda's circumstance involving Ultron, Loki is not at fault and should not be held accountable for such actions.

 

_Trickster God has left the group chat._

 

I am Iron Man: Lemme guess: reindeer games is in tears again?

 

Vision: That does appear to be a recurring pattern when he leaves.

 

Thunderer: My brother is merely unused to this form and quantity of sentiment.

 

**2:20 pm**

_Thunderer added Trickster God_

 

Trickster God: I refuse to participate until that ghastly video is deleted and wiped from everyone's minds.

 

Trickster God: It is a completely inaccurate representation of what transpired.

 

Thunderer: I have to admit, this is true.

 

_Rhodster is online_

 

I am Iron Man: FINALLY

 

Rhodster: Tony, what is this?

 

I am Iron Man: Scroll up dude

 

Trickster God: DO NOT

 

Trickster God: BANNER DELETE THAT MONSTROSITY

 

Banner: Nah, this is the first time I've gotten solid blackmail on you.

 

Trickster God: What about Thor? Surely, you don't want this to spread for his sake?

 

Thunderer: I do not mind being shown to be close to you.

 

Trickster God: Yes, I know that, Thor, but as you can see, I was spinning a clever little lie to get me out of this that you just ruined.

 

Thunderer: Oh! Apologies, my dear brother.

 

Trickster God: A bit late for that.

 

Banner: See? Thor doesn't mind. 

 

betterthanstark: Hey, do you have a YouTube account? You could upload it to there.

 

Trickster God: YOU UTTER MISCREANT

 

Banner: Good idea

 

Trickster God: NO NOT GOOD IDEA

 

Trickster God: BAD IDEA VERY BAD IDEA

 

Banner: And what would you do to stop me?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: He's got you trapped dude

 

_samsucks is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

 

samsucks: Wait what

 

Rhodster: Bruce has blackmail

 

betterthanbucky: You mind changing your name?

 

samsucks: why

 

betterthanbucky: I DO NOT SUCK

 

samsucks: says who

 

betterthanbucky: SAYS STEVE

 

samsucks: what

 

samsucks: STEVIEEE BE A DEAR AND TELL SAM HE CAN KISS MY ASS

 

**2:51 pm**

Steve: Nope

 

samsucks: why

 

Steve: Because Sam doesn't suck Buck

 

betterthanstark: COMMAS

 

Steve: **Because Sam doesn't suck, Buck.

 

Steve: That was purely accidental. I apologize.

 

samsucks: MY EYES. STEVIE MY EYES

 

samsucks: I BELONG TO ONE MAN

 

spiderman: gay

 

samsucks: AND THAT MAN IS NOT SAM

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Is it Jesus?

 

samsucks: NO I BELONG TO STEVIE

 

spiderman: STUCKY CONFIRMEDDDDDDDD OMG AJDJFNHRHEHD

 

betterthanstark: EHHFUDHEHDIWOJWNF

 

Thunderer: Are the two younglings all right? They appear to be throwing up letters.

 

I am Iron Man: Yeah they do that sometimes

 

Steve: Nice, Buck.

 

samsucks: #SamSucks2k18

 

Steve: Wait

 

Steve: Why is there that symbol?

 

betterthanstark: It's a hashtag. 

 

Thunderer: #Oh #That #Is #Marvelous

 

Trickster God: Don't use it like that you tool

 

betterthanbucky: steveeee make him change his name

 

Steve: Bucky, be nice.

 

_samsucks has changed their name to samswallows_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions welcome!


	3. Enter MJ and Ned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned and MJ borrow Peter's phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is OOC
> 
>  
> 
> SOMEHOW ANGST ENDED UP IN THIS

**1:16 pm**

_spiderman is online_

_samswallows is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

_spiderman has changed their name to nedandmj_

 

samswallows: who is this?

 

nedandmj: THAT NAME AJDHJFJEJDJ

 

nedandmj: We are Peter's friends

 

samswallows: oh and you have his phone?

 

nedandmj: yup

 

nedandmj: Who are you??

 

samswallows: um

 

samswallows: Sam

 

nedandmj: and you swallow?

 

betterthanbucky: I KNEW IT YOU WANTED TO BE ME SUCK IT LOSER I AM BETTER THAN YOU 

 

_Steve is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

betterthanbucky: THAT ISNT SAM THAT IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES THE OLDEST CRANKIEST BINGO PLAYER IN THE WORLD

 

samswallows: I am not cranky

 

I am Iron Man: LIES

 

nedandmj: MR STARK?

 

Steve: Buck is really good at bingo though.

 

nedandmj: Really? :D

 

nedandmj: Wait aren't you all like criminals or something

 

nedandmj: Peter has a group chat with criminals???

 

samswallows: we were fugitives in retaliation to the sokovia accords but like we're awesome

 

I am Iron Man: Could you say that the Winter Soldier is....chill?

 

nedandmj: did u just make a pun

 

I am Iron Man: yup

 

I am Iron Man: Wait how did you get Peter's phone? That has confidential stuff on it

 

nedandmj: don't worry we promised not to look at secret spidey stuff

 

I am Iron Man: Wait how did Miss Jones find out about his identity?

 

nedandmj: um I have a brain

 

nedandmj: anyone with a brain would be able to tell

 

I am Iron Man: really?

 

I am Iron Man: I'll have to talk to him about that but where is he?

 

nedandmj: nurses office

 

Steve: Is Peter all right? What happened?

 

nedandmj: nothing too bad. His healing factor will take care of it

 

I am Iron Man: WHAT HAPPENEEDDDD

 

nedandmj: we promised we wouldn't tell sorry

 

_betterthanstark is online_

 

betterthanstark: I'm sorry what

 

betterthanstark: im gonna kill him

 

betterthanstark: what happened?

 

nedandmj: Sorry we can't say

 

I am Iron Man: the situation is escalating. Please tell us before I send a drone after him

 

nedandmj: He just got punched a couple of times by this kid

 

**1:30 pm**

Steve: Peter is being bullied?

 

nedandmj: you know what why don't you have this conversation with peter

 

I am Iron Man: They're right. We shouldn't interrogate them.

 

samswallows: So we should just move on?

 

Steve: I guess. But I want to know who this kid is later.

 

I am Iron Man: Me here too.

 

_King of Wakanda is online_

 

nedandmj: King T'Challa?

 

King of Wakanda: Yes?

 

nedandmj: Oh my God, your highness, you and the Princess Shuri are my heros!

 

betterthanstark: I'm Shuri! Nice to meet you.

 

King of Wakanda: Such titles are unnecessary on this group chat.

 

nedandmj: Thank you so much!

 

nedandmj: Do you mind if I interview the both of you sometime? I am writing a paper on the effect of European colonization on the way African countries developed.

 

King of Wakanda: It would pleasure me greatly to assist you.

 

betterthanstark: Of course!!!! That sounds intereating. Although I don't know how much T'Challa will be. He gets distracted

 

_Thunderer is online_

_Trickster God is online_

 

Trickster God: get me a new brother

 

Trickster God: he is incorrigible

 

_Banner is online_

 

Banner: I am summoned by these lies

 

Thunderer: What did I do now? O_O

 

Trickster God: you know that I like the minty green ones

 

Thunderer: Oh. You are still mad about that?

 

Trickster God: I DO NOT FORGIVE BETRAYAL EASILY

 

I am Iron Man: Yeah, we all know that

 

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

 

nedandmj: what happened????

 

Trickster God: I HAD ICE CREAM. MINT ICE CREAM. IT WAS WONDERFULLY COLD LIKE MY INNER MONSTROUS SELF AND GREEN TO MATCH MY AESTHETIC AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?

 

Trickster God: THOR MY USELESS OAF OF A BROTHER ATE MY ICE CREAM

 

Thunderer: Truly brother, I apologize. I did not realize it was yours, and I certainly wouldn't have done so had I known it was yours.

 

Thunderer: Also, you are no monster, brother mine. You may be different, but that is not wrong. 

 

Trickster God: yOU Are No MoNSteR

 

_Trickster God has left the group chat_

 

Thunderer: oh dear

 

_Thunderer has added Trickster God to the group chat_

 

Trickster God: I hate you so much

 

Thunderer: I will buy you more ice cream!

 

Trickster God: .....

 

Thunderer: I will!

 

Trickster God: Do you promise?

 

Thunderer: I promise! :)

 

The one and only Hawkeye: AWWWW that's so sweet

 

Trickster God: I will kill you

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I don't know I'm feeling good right now

 

Trickster God: AND IM FEELING STABBY

 

Thunderer: I will hide the knives

 

Trickster God: I have magic you dimwit

 

**1:47 pm**

Thunderer: Well it seems like you forget them frequently, brother.

 

Trickster God: THAT WAS ONE TIME

 

Thunderer: You were going against Thanos!

 

BlackWidow21: Yeah, that does sound like a pretty shitty time to forget you have magic.

 

Trickster God: I HAVE A LOT ON MY MIND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!


	4. Flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony talks to Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is OOC
> 
> like why is there suddenly anger what

**2:12 am**

_nedandmj is online_

_nedandmj has changed their name to pparker_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

I am Iron Man: What are you doing up this late?

 

pparker: What r U doing up this late

 

I am Iron Man: My job, underoos. A little birdie tells me that it is a school night for a certain someone.

 

pparker: Yeah, I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep

 

I am Iron Man: ?

 

pparker: I'm really, really sorry, Mr. Stark.

 

pparker: Like, more than you will ever know

 

I am Iron Man: What is this about. Peter you're scaring me what happened

 

pparker: You said that it would be on you if I ever died, and well, I died....so there's that

 

I am Iron Man: none of that was on you

 

I am Iron Man: and we're all okay now

 

pparker: I know we're fine but every time I close my eyes we're not fine

 

I am Iron Man: its okay kid

 

I am Iron Man: I get nightmares too. Time will help. Also, I really need to invest in a superhero therapist. We'll get through this

 

pparker: sorry when u said superhero therapist I imagined this guy magically curing all mental ills and beating the baddies by merely talking to them

 

pparker: but go on

 

I am Iron Man: Point is, all wounds take time to heal whether they are visible or not. But what could I do to help you?

 

pparker: Idk we're cool

 

I am Iron Man: Tell me if you think of something

 

I am Iron Man: But we have to have a talk, Peter.

 

pparker: Oh no is this about the birds and the bees? Are you going to make me put a condom on a banana? Aunt May already made me do that

 

I am Iron Man: HELL NO

 

I am Iron Man: I meant that we should talk about this kid who punched you at school.

 

pparker: Mr. Stark, we don't have to do that. It was nothing.

 

I am Iron Man: Nothing my ass. MJ said you went to the nurse's office?

 

pparker: Well, yeah I can't let everyone know about my healing

 

I am Iron Man: What is this kid's name?

 

I am Iron Man: I'll have him blacklisted by every good college and company I can.

 

pparker: Please don't. I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

 

I am Iron Man: So it is a boy? Fine, I won't. But I can't let him keep hitting you

 

pparker: fine

 

I am Iron Man: Now, what is his name?

 

pparker: I still don't think that is necessary

 

I am Iron Man: Why are you trying so hard to protect him?

 

pparker: Is there something I have to protect him from?

 

I am Iron Man: um yeah ME

 

I am Iron Man: and everyone else on this chat probably

 

**2:34 am**

pparker: Then that is why I won't tell. He's just a kid

 

I am Iron Man: Who punched my kid

 

I am Iron Man: Multiple times apparently. How long has this been going on?

 

pparker: a while????? I don't know

 

I am Iron Man: Why didn't you fight back?

 

pparker: That might reveal my identity, Mr. Stark. I couldn't fight back earlier, so I can't now.

 

I am Iron Man: so he started before I met you. Before you became the spiderling

 

pparker: spiderman 

 

I am Iron Man: whatever

 

pparker: I guess.

 

I am Iron Man: this is probably a better talk to have in person

 

pparker: Why???? Then you have to talk to people in person

 

pparker: Like face to face

 

I am Iron Man: is that bad?

 

pparker: IT IS THE WORST THING IN THIS UNIVERSE

 

I am Iron Man: Wow. Try to get some sleep

 

pparker: fine

 

_pparker is offline_

_I am Iron Man is offline_

 

**11:56 am**

_samswallows is online_

_Steve is online_

_betterthanstark is online_

 

samswallows: STEVVIIEEEEEE guess what I found~~~

 

samswallows: *pic attachment* (it is a his and his bed spread with one huge section saying 'his side' and one tiny section saying 'my side')

 

Steve: Why would you look something like that up, Buck?

 

samswallows: Bud, you can spread out while sleeping. Even when you were the size of a teacup pig

 

betterthanstark: EXPOSEDDDD

 

Steve: I was not the size of a teacup pig.

 

samswallows: yes you were shut up

 

_betterthanbucky is online_

_Vision is online_

 

Vision: Are you searching for better bed spreads?

 

samswallows: Hells yes

 

Steve: Bucky, no, we can't buy this.

 

samswallows: Too busy living in denial?

 

Steve: We already have a bed spread.

 

samswallows: Face the music

 

betterthanbucky: I think that that would be soooo cute for you two

 

samswallows: shut up

 

samswallows: sorry Stevie we can't get this magnificent deal because SOMEONE is an asshole

 

_Trickster God is online_

 

Trickster God: In other, more exciting, news, I have been generously gifted ice cream.

 

Trickster God: *insert selfie of Loki eating ice cream and sticking his tongue out*

 

Trickster God: Losers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!
> 
> I was thinking of including some stuff about Skip Westcott. Would that be too much or should I go for it?


	5. Braids and Paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is OOC

**3:34 pm**

_Thunderer is online_

_Banner is online_

_Steve is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_Scarlet Witch is online_

 

 

Thunderer: Behold, Midgardian friends!

 

Thunderer: *insert pic of very complex braid with flowers weaved in in deep black hair*

 

BlackWidow21: Is that...Loki?

 

Scarlet Witch: Love the braid

 

Thunderer: Yes!!!! It is most marvelous. My brother used to wear his hair like this a lot when he was younger, but he unfortunately cut his hair once masculinity became emphasized by the Allfather.

 

Thunderer: But now he's doing it again!!!!

 

Thunderer: Although he doesn't know that I took that photograph, so shhhhh

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Damnnn is this going to be his look now?

 

Steve: Clint, you're married.

 

Steve: With kids.

 

Steve: On a farm.

 

Steve: Living the American dream.

 

Scarlet Witch: I can practically hear the salt in his voice.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't admire a kickass braid.

 

I am Iron Man: Are you sure????

 

I am Iron Man: If those fingers can make that masterpiece, who knows what else they are capable of

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I AM MARRIED

 

Banner: I was hoping that you would get with Natasha, but nope, you have a family you didn't tell us about.

 

BlackWidow21: Bruce, we're together. Why would you want me to be with Clint?

 

Banner: Back in 2012....it would've been so cute

 

BlackWidow21: Are you calling me cute? 

 

Banner: No, Clint is adorable. You are powerful.

 

BlackWidow21: That's better.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I AM NOT CUTE

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I AM FIERCE

 

The one and only Hawkeye: FIERCE LIKE A HAWK

 

The one and only Hawkeye: DONT UNDERESTIMATE ME

 

I am Iron Man: Aw look how cute the little archer is

 

Thunderer: Friends! Loki is adding to the look!

 

Thunderer: *insert picture of dark black nails with tiny vines with flowers shooting out of them*

 

Thunderer: I can't figure out how he isn't noticing my photographs.

 

**3:56 pm**

The one and only Hawkeye: Dammmnnnn can he paint my nails

 

The one and only Hawkeye: i want my tootsies to have flowers on them

 

Thunderer: Loki said no

 

_Trickster God is online_

Trickster God: Are you kidding me, Thor? Seriously?

 

Thunderer: What?

 

Trickster God: I noticed your picture taking you idiot

 

Thunderer: But I was so sneaky

 

Thunderer: I was basically invisible

 

Trickster God: You covered my eyes with your hand to stop me from seeing what you are doing

 

Trickster God: And Barton, you have a wife and kids--learn from them

 

The one and only Hawkeye: awww

 

Trickster God: Thor, weren't you doing something anyway?

 

Trickster God: Let me rephrase: LEAVE ME ALONE

 

Thunderer: Well, I was waiting for the toaster to give me my poptarts back.

 

Thunderer: I got bored, and you were there so

 

Trickster God: So what? Finish your sentence you twat

 

Thunderer: So I looked at what you were doing. I'm quite excited that you are doing things with your hair again.

 

Trickster God: Jealous?

 

Thunderer: yes

 

Trickster God: I am satisfied.

 

Trickster God: The hair cut was probably for the best. Even out those bald spots and what not, brother.

 

Thunderer: I DO NOT HAVE BALD SPOTS

 

Thunderer: My hair was blond and glorious and magnificent

 

Trickster God: Nice polysyndeton

 

Thunderer: What?

 

I am Iron Man: I know we're all creeping, but this is so entertaining to watch.

 

Trickster God: POLYSYNDETON

 

Thunderer: I still do not understand.

 

Trickster God: Go look it up

 

Thunderer: fine

 

**4:11 pm**

Thunderer: Oh! Thank you brother, but it wasn't intentional

 

Trickster God: Obviously, now are we going to go soon? You can't have that much more stuff to get.

 

Trickster God: Not like you need any hair products anymore

 

Trickster God: hehe

 

BlackWidow21: Wait where are the two of you going?

 

Thunderer: I promised my brother to take him to Disney World sometime.

 

I am Iron Man: You're taking Loki to Disney?

 

Trickster God: Seriously, are you illiterate? You ask redundant questions all the time.

 

I am Iron Man: I can read!

 

Trickster God: What was that useless question for then?

 

I am Iron Man: It was a statement of shock and disbelief because I can't believe someone as depressing as you would want to go to Disney World.

 

_samswallows is online_

samswallows: WAIT DISNEY HAS A WORLD

 

samswallows: Steve and I love Disney stuff!

 

samswallows: STEVIE I WANNA GO TO DISNEY WORLD PACK YOUR BAGS WE ARE GOING TO THE HAPPIEST MOST EXCITING PLACE ON EARTH

 

Steve: Okay, Buck.

 

samswallows: If only you were still tiny, I could count you as a carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome! I'm holding off on Westcott for now to prevent overwhelming angst


	6. Disney

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad goes to Disney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is OOC. 
> 
> Featuring Lady Loki

**1:01 am**

_I am Iron Man is online_

_Steve is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

 

I am Iron Man: Heads up: you guys should be awake if we are going to make it to Disney bright and early

 

Steve: Thank you, Tony.

 

BlackWidow21: Roger that.

 

_Banner is online_

_Rhodster is online_

_samswallows is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

 

pparker: hehe 'roger' 

 

pparker: Lit

 

I am Iron Man: I didn't see you enter this chat

 

I am Iron Man: Have you been awake all this time?

 

pparker: Obviously

 

betterthanstark: I have too! Of course it is a different time over here.

 

I am Iron Man: I have gotta talk to your aunt about your sleep schedule.

 

Banner: You are one to talk. Did you sleep at all?

 

I am Iron Man: .....

 

I am Iron Man: No

 

Rhodster: Of course not. You were probably playing with a suit

 

I am Iron Man: So you don't think they are fun to play with?

 

Rhodster: Of course they are

 

Rhodster: Just not when you are supposed to be sleeping.

 

Banner: Need I lecture you about your circadian rhythm again?

 

I am Iron Man: Peter's doing it too

 

pparker: traitor

 

_Scarlet Witch is online_

_Vision is online_

 

Banner: I expect Peter to be a bit more defiant.

 

pparker: what is that supposed to mean?????? Fight meeee

 

Banner: You on the other hand know better.

 

I am Iron Man: Whatever. Any of the Asgardians awake?

 

Banner: Yeah

 

Banner: Loki is scavenging the place for hair ties.

 

Scarlet Witch: I have some if he needs it

 

samswallows: Girlll you share? I don't. You'll never see them again if you lend them

 

Scarlet Witch: Oh shoot you're right

 

Scarlet Witch: Never mind if Loki asks I have none

 

samswallows: But I do know whose stuff to raid if I lose mine

 

Scarlet Witch: You will not

 

Scarlet Witch: I will destroy you if you touch my hair ties

 

betterthanstark: Yo if anyone asks I have none too

 

betterthanbucky: well if you're done with that can we get a move on

 

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Nat's a meanie

 

BlackWidow21: Yes?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I didn't need that slap

 

**1:23 am**

BlackWidow21: I was shouting at you to wake up for thirty minutes!

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I DIDNT HAVE MY HEARING AIDS IN

 

The one and only Hawkeye: BECAUSE I WAS ASLEEP

 

The one and only Hawkeye: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

 

BlackWidow21: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: meanie

 

**1:50 am**

I am Iron Man: Hey, Pete, I'll be by to pick you up in five.

 

pparker: thnx, Mr. Stark

 

I am Iron Man: How can you use abbreviations and shit but still say "Mr. Stark"

 

pparker: It's a talent.

 

Steve: Tony, if you are picking him up, aren't you driving? No texting while driving.

 

I am Iron Man: Yeah Yeah stay safe don't do drugs we got it

 

I am Iron Man: Happy is driving. He's pretty excited to get some time off.

 

pparker: This reminds me of those psas he did

 

I am Iron Man: What PSAs?

 

pparker: They show them at school like the classic drugs and alcohol shit and fitness testing

 

samswallows: STEVIE you are in no place to say don't do drugs. You are only here because you did some experimental drugs as soon as I left!

 

Steve: I meant cocaine and heroin and other hardcore drugs.

 

samswallows: And after I fell off the train, you immediately drove a plane straight into the ocean without giving your coordinates!

 

Steve: To be fair, you are about 99 percent of my impulse control.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: noooo

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Steve Rogers? Without impulse control? Noooooo

 

samswallows: All you youngins don't know what I had to deal with

 

samswallows: Stevie was constantly picking fights with people three times his size

 

samswallows: Which of course meant they were normal sized, but to Steve, he was wrestling with someone the size of Thanos

 

Steve: They were not that much bigger than me.

 

samswallows: shut up yes They were you were an angry Chihuahua then

 

_King of Wakanda is online_

 

King of Wakanda: We're now flying to Orlando, Florida. Do try to catch up.

 

I am Iron Man: Oh it is on

 

betterthanstark: Good luck then. You shall need it if you are going to beat my tech.

 

I am Iron Man: That would be easy if the ASGARDIANS COULD HURRY UP AND GET TO THE JET

 

Banner: Neither of them are on the group chat right now, Tony.

 

_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

 

Banner: Never mind, I spoke too soon.

 

Trickster God: I'll get there when I'm ready.

 

Thunderer: I'm ready!!!

 

Trickster God: Yeah, well, unlike you, I have hair that needs to be taken proper care of.

 

Thunderer: D':

 

samswallows: Too far dude

 

Thunderer: I want my hair back

 

Trickster God: I want my innocence back, but no one gets what they want because that is how the universe works

 

The one and only Hawkeye: ......wow

 

pparker: mooooood

 

I am Iron Man: Just hurry up so we can beat the Wakandans

 

King of Wakanda: Not going to happen.

 

Trickster God: no

 

Trickster God: If I don't get what I want, you don't get your silly victory.

 

Thunderer: Apologies my brother is in a bad mood

 

Trickster God: mY BRoTheR Is iN A Bad mOOd

 

betterthanstark: oof

 

I am Iron Man: Well, he'll be in a better mood in the happiest place on Earth!!!!

 

Trickster God: Midgard is dreary, especially lately

 

I am Iron Man: I will buy you whatever the fuck you want if you get your ass over on this jet

 

**2:23 am**

Steve: TONY, THERE ARE KIDS ON THIS GROUP CHAT

 

I am Iron Man: You curse on here too

 

samswallows: He has got you there, Mr. Potty Mouth

 

Trickster God: ....

 

Trickster God: Whatever I want?

 

I am Iron Man: As long as it isn't illegal

 

I am Iron Man: Cause I'm not getting into that stuff

 

pparker: He isn't that much of a shady bitch

 

Steve: PETER

 

pparker: this is texting it doesn't count

 

pparker: people curse in texts all the time even if they don't in real life

 

betterthanbucky: Yeah, Steve, that is nothing compared to the stuff I've heard coming out of your mouth

 

samswallows: wait do we agree on something

 

betterthanbucky: no stfu

 

I am Iron Man: We are going now, so phones are off

 

betterthanstark: They can't have their phones on a jet there?

 

King of Wakanda: Don't question it.

 

**9:45 am**

I am Iron Man: Here

 

betterthanstark: Dude we've been here

 

I am Iron Man: dammit can I adopt you too

 

betterthanstark: ew no then I'd have to see Peter

 

pparker: ok ow

 

I am Iron Man: OK SO WHO IS WITH WHO RIGHT NOW?

 

I am Iron Man: y'all wandered off I need leashes for you guys.

 

Vision: I am with Wanda

 

Steve: Bucky and Sam

 

The one and only Hawkeye: RIPPPP

 

The one and only Hawkeye: oh wait yeah I'm with Nat and Bruce

 

Rhodster: #foreveralone I'm going to ride so many more rides than you guys

 

Thunderer: I have my brother!!!!

 

I am Iron Man: Great and T'Challa and I are babysitting Peter and Shuri

 

pparker: they're not babysitting us

 

pparker: they're accompanying us

 

pparker: If we were to do something stupid they would not stop us

 

pparker: They would join us

 

betterthanstark: one of us one of us one of us one of us

 

I am Iron Man: Yeah I'm definitely babysitting these kids are creepy

 

King of Wakanda: I concur

 

The one and only Hawkeye: NAT BOUGHT ME ICE CREAM

 

Steve: I hope you said thank you

 

The one and only Hawkeye: THANKS NAT

 

BlackWidow21: I'm literally standing right next to you. There is no reason to text.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: but I want my fbi agent to see what a nice guy I am

 

I am Iron Man: You do realize that you don't have a personal FBI agent, right?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: hmmm

 

The one and only Hawkeye: You're right I was SHIELD so maybe they expect me to be my own fbi agent

 

The one and only Hawkeye: in that case I am magnificent later losers

 

Rhodster: *insert video* (it is of him having fun on a roller coaster)

 

Rhodster: Jealous? The singles line is so much shorter

 

I am Iron Man: and full of lonely people

 

Rhodster: at least I'm not babysitting

 

**10:17 am**

Thunderer: BEHOLD: I HAVE BEEN OUTFITTED TO RESEMBLE THE JOHN SMITH FROM POCAHONTAS

 

Thunderer: *insert pic* (Thor is dressed as John Smith, and a lady is dressed as Snow White behind him on her phone)

 

BlackWidow21: I like it. Very accurate.

 

Thunderer: THANK YOU, LADY NATASHA

 

I am Iron Man: Who is the chick in the back? You get backstage or something?

 

samswallows: there's a backstage?

 

Steve: no there isn't Tony is just trying to ruin the fun for you

 

samswallows: ok then Fuck you

 

betterthanbucky: there's a backstage

 

samswallows: you are just antagonizing me

 

betterthanbucky: they are just people in costumes you know

 

Steve: Sam shhhhhh

 

betterthanbucky: fine

 

betterthanbucky: But that Snow White girl is gorgeous

 

Thunderer: um

 

Vision: I too find her aesthetically pleasing.

 

betterthanbucky: You aren't even a little turned on by that???

 

Vision: No, I am asexual.

 

betterthanbucky: Oh. Thats chill too

 

Vision: Her dark hair is quite reflective however. The contrast between her hair and skin is pleasing to the eye.

 

Thunderer: um

 

Trickster God: No no no no

 

I am Iron Man: What is it, Reindeer Games?

 

Trickster God: IM THE ONE WEARING THE PRINCESS DRESS YOU IMP

 

Trickster God: *inserts selfie of Lady Loki making a face at the camera in her Snow White costume*

 

I am Iron Man: oh wow

 

I am Iron Man: dude you have skills

 

Trickster God: They tend to develop during identity crises

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Like what?

 

Trickster God: I have gained new skill sets while going in between Aesir and Jotun and while questioning my gender and sexuality

 

Scarlet Witch: Anything we should take into account?

 

Trickster God: Oh You are the first to ask that.

 

Trickster God: I am genderfluid and often go between the two if I'm not hanging out somewhere in the middle.

 

pparker: The middle is where all the cool cats hang

 

Trickster God: This is true.

 

Scarlet Witch: Sorry for asking, but which pronouns should I use?

 

Trickster God: Never feel sorry for asking, child. We won't be mad at you.

 

Trickster God: Right now I am using she. I sometimes use he and they however.

 

Scarlet Witch: Thank you!

 

Trickster God: No, thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!
> 
> I might add a sequel of sorts to explain what is happening when they are away from their phones later. What would you guys think of it?


	7. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the second day at Disney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Sorry if anyone is OOC

**8:13 am**

_Thunderer is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_pparker is online_

_Steve is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_Banner is online_

 

Thunderer: Help!

 

Thunderer: A great travesty has occurred

 

Thunderer: I require immediate back up.

 

Steve: Are you okay? What's going on? Are you being attacked?

 

Thunderer: *insert picture of Loki refusing to get out of bed*

 

Thunderer: As you can see, my sister is refusing to wake.

 

I am Iron Man: Oh

 

_betterthanstark is online_

 

I am Iron Man: Dude, you made us think there was something to fight. Now I gotta go put my suit away and finish my shower.

 

pparker: You put on the Iron Man suit mid shower???

 

pparker: damn put that thing in some rice

 

I am Iron Man: My tech isn't so bad that I have to resort to that

 

betterthanstark: Yeah, even I can concede to that Peter

 

Thunderer: Hello? Friends, how can I awaken her?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Dump water on her

 

Thunderer: Nay, I would like to live to go to the park.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Point well made. I usually make Nat a pot of her favorite coffee before trying to wake her up.

 

Thunderer: Loki likes tea, not coffee.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Then, make her some tea!

 

Thunderer: I SHALL DO THIS

 

Thunderer: THANK YOU FRIEND

 

The one and only Hawkeye: You are welcome buddy

 

_samswallows is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

 

samswallows: Just thought I would send you guys some of the highlights from yesterday

 

samswallows: *insert video of Sam squealing at the top of a huge roller coaster*

 

samswallows: someone might not be as good in the air as we originally thought

 

betterthanbucky: I was having fun!

 

samswallows: You sound like a squealing pig

 

betterthanbucky: I do not

 

samswallows: oink oink

 

Steve: Bucky, you're being childish.

 

samswallows: oink oink

 

betterthanbucky: stop this

 

samswallows: CHILDREN! THE COW SAYS MOO, THE CAT SAYS MEOW, BUT WHAT DOES THE FALCON SAY?

 

pparker: OINK OINK

 

betterthanstark: OINK OINK

 

betterthanbucky: The Falcon says "Bucky sucks"

 

samswallows: I'm sure everyone here except Vision has sucked at some point in their lives.

 

I am Iron Man: Are you talking about what I think you're talking about

 

Steve: Bucky we don't talk about this in public

 

**8:30 am**

samswallows: hush hush this isn't public and it isn't the 40s anymore

 

Steve: There are children on this chat!

 

samswallows: Oh shoot all right maybe they haven't yet either

 

samswallows: Now if you excuse me

 

samswallows: I'm gonna get me some Mickey shaped waffles

 

_samswallows is offline_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_Scarlet Witch is online_

 

betterthanbucky: Now that he's gone we can have mature conversations

 

Thunderer: LOKI HAS ACCEPTED MY OFFERING AND IS NO LONGER ASLEEP

 

I am Iron Man: ok then

 

Scarlet Witch: How is she?

 

Thunderer: She is a bit moody and tired

 

BlackWidow21: I would be too if I was in her situation.

 

Thunderer: What situation? Has she not informed me of some villain burdening her?

 

Thunderer: Not to say that she would need to inform me. She is plenty capable herself, but the thought counts.

 

Scarlet Witch: She shifted into her female form right when Nat and I got our periods.

 

Scarlet Witch: Then, she got hers. Poor baby must have synched up with us immediately

 

I am Iron Man: oh wow I've never seen this sort of conversation

 

Thunderer: I see. Then I shall get chocolate!

 

pparker: Good man.

 

**11:27 am**

betterthanbucky: Gaze in awe as the Winter Soldier is cowed by a ride manager!

 

betterthanbucky: *insert video of Lady and Bucky talking and then Bucky taking his metal arm off and putting it in the bag area*

 

samswallows: She made me take off my arm! Amputee here!

 

Steve: She was just concerned that the ride might damage it or it might damage the ride.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: I've never seen people having to surrender limbs to ride a ride

 

samswallows: I needed both my arms to make the teacup spin faster!

 

pparker: YOU WENT ON THE TEACUP RIDE?????

 

Steve: Buck, you got it going plenty fast with the one arm.

 

betterthanbucky: you didnt get cap to vomit though what a shame

 

samswallows: LISTEN UP I SPEND MY TIME PREVENTING STEVIE FROM VOMITING YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN HE WAS SICK WAY BACK WHEN? DO YOU?

 

Steve: I'm sure everyone knows. No need for a reminder.

 

samswallows: What? A reminder of the time you could only run a single block before getting winded?

 

Steve: I had asthma!

 

samswallows: I know! You were prescribed cigars!

 

pparker: Wait a sec he was prescribed cigars for ASTHMA?? AJFJEJFN

 

betterthanstark: I know western medicine is so weird

 

samswallows: I tried to bring up a lawsuit against that doctor as soon as I regained my memories you know! But. He. Was. Dead. So I cant get any revenge for a doctor trying to Kill my stevie

 

_Trickster God is online_

 

Trickster God: Why does this always devolve into chaos? Why?

 

Trickster God: No response?

 

Trickster God: You quims

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!
> 
> If Nat cant have kids, does she get a period? I'm not sure, but if someone knows, please tell me!
> 
> Also, I was wondering if I should make Peter a trans man. What do you all think of that? I won't do it if you don't want me to.


	8. Plums and Tide Pods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky just wants some plums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC.

**4:12 pm**

_samswallows is online  
_

 

samswallows: steve

 

samswallows: steeeeeve

 

samswallows: steeeeeeeeeeeve

 

_Steve is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

_pparker is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

Steve: Yes?

samswallows: can u go get me some plums

 

betterthanbucky: Gosh making Steve go out and get you stuff?

 

betterthanbucky: Do it yourselfffff

 

samswallows: But stevie is already out

 

Steve: I'll get you some plums.

 

samswallows: YAY

 

I am Iron Man: Why are you so excited over plums? They're not even that good.

 

samswallows: YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU UNCULTURED HEATHEN

 

samswallows: EVERY DAY WE STRAY FURTHER FROM THE PATH INTENDED FOR US

 

samswallows: BUT TODAY IS THE DAY I SHOW YOU THE WONDER OF THE PLUMS

 

samswallows: STEVIE GET EXTRA PLUMS FOR THE TRASH CAN IM NOT SHARING

 

I am Iron Man: Who are you calling a trash can?

 

samswallows: u

 

I am Iron Man: Oh wow real mature

 

pparker: Don't worry that means that I can hang out with you more!

 

I am Iron Man: ???

 

I am Iron Man: Why

 

pparker: cause i'm trash

 

pparker: and trash goes in trash cans

 

I am Iron Man: Do we need to have a talk, Peter?

 

pparker: About what?

 

pparker: I'm confused.

 

I am Iron Man: Last night, I asked you what you wanted to drink, and you said 'bleach.'

 

Steve: You did what?

 

Steve: Tony, tell me you didn't give him bleach.

 

I am Iron Man: Chill out, I'm not that stupid.

 

pparker: i'm gen z

 

betterthanstark: yup that's the explanation

 

betterthanbucky: Aren't you guys the tide pod eaters?

 

samswallows: guys

 

pparker: well I'VE never done it before

 

betterthanstark: And I've never seen a tide pod in person sooooo

 

pparker: no

 

**4:30 pm**

_BlackWidow21 is online  
_

 

samswallows: guys

 

Steve: What the hell is a tide pod?

 

I am Iron Man: LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE

 

betterthanbucky: It's this thing you put in the laundry to clean your clothes, but it can be deadly if ingested. And these kids keep going around eating them for likes on like Instagram or whatever, and so many people were eating them that they started getting locks on them in stores and stuff.

 

samswallows: GUYS

 

Steve: How did that even start?

 

betterthanbucky: No clue

 

samswallows: GUYS

 

Steve: Wait your turn, Buck. I'm talking to Sam.

 

samswallows: BUT STEVE, PLUMS

 

_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

 

samswallows: PLEASE?

 

BlackWidow21: Steve's trying to rile you up

 

samswallows: I know :) It's so fun letting him. But seriously PLUMS

 

Trickster God: What in all that is sacred is a plum?

 

I am Iron Man: ....

 

I am Iron Man: It's a fruit.

 

Trickster God: Hmmm boring

 

Thunderer: Plum is such a weird word.

 

Thunderer: Just say it.

 

Thunderer: Plum

 

Trickster God: It does sound weird wtf

 

samswallows: STOP DISRESPECTING THEM

 

**5:15 pm**

Steve: Sorry, Buck, they aren't in season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments make me happy!


	9. Norse Mythology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki share some old tales.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is out of character!

**10:25 am**

_Thunderer is online  
_

_Trickster God is online_

_pparker is online_

_Steve is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

_samswallows is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

 

pparker: Hey thor, loki

 

Thunderer: Yes, Man of Spiders?

 

pparker: So I just got out of class, and we had a lesson on Norse mythology.

 

Trickster God: Oh no

 

Thunderer: Marvelous! What did you all discover in your lesson?

 

pparker: Is it true that Loki called Freyja a major slut in front of like every single god?

 

BlackWidow21: He did what now?

 

BlackWidow21: Jesus let the girl live her own life.

 

Trickster God: I spoke only truth; however, that story is remembered somewhat inaccurately.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: So, how did it go? I've never heard this story before.

 

Thunderer: The story teller made it out to seem like Loki was harassing this girl while trying to come onto her, but in reality, the exact opposite happened.

 

Thunderer: Most people did not welcome Loki and tried to tarnish his reputation, leading to this rumor.

 

Trickster God: thaNK YOU I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE

 

pparker: Yeah, I assumed something was off when we got to that point in the story.

 

I am Iron Man: Norse Mythology is really crazy though.

 

betterthanbucky: Yeah, wasn't there one where Thor dressed in a bridal gown?

 

Trickster God: yES

 

Thunderer: I thought I looked pretty in the dress.

 

Thunderer: LOKI YOU SAID I MADE A RADIANT BRIDE

 

Trickster God: Of course you did you big oaf this is just one of my fonder memories

 

The one and only Hawkeye: oooo do tell

 

Trickster God: So this giant Thrym stole Mjolnir,  and he said he would only give it back if Freyja married him.

 

Thunderer: Which was definitely not happening.

 

samswallows: Wait I thought you didn't really like her?

 

Trickster God: Just because she is a hoe doesn't mean that I don't like her.

 

Trickster God: ANYWAY I got Thor here to dress up as Freyja and I got to be the bridesmaid. :)

 

Trickster God: Thor, however, was giving us away with his uncouth eating habit at the wedding feast.

 

Thunderer: IM SORRY THIS WAS A LONG TIME AGO

 

Trickster God: Whatever. Basically, as soon as Thor got his hand on that stupid hammer of his, he killed everyone in attendance. It was delightful.

 

pparker: Mood

 

betterthanstark: Big mood

 

I am Iron Man: Wait a sex

 

I am Iron Man: I mean sec ;)

 

I am Iron Man: I thought Odin forced you to be really masculine and stuff; where did this come from?

 

Trickster God: He didn't know about it, Stark. He never ever ever would have allowed for that to happen if he did; he'd rather give up Freyja.

 

**10:41 am**

Thunderer: There are many other memorable times that I wish to share with you!

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Are they funny?

 

betterthanstark: oh hon

 

pparker: You should know that there is only one rule in Norse mythology

 

betterthanstark: and that it

 

pparker: whenever Loki is added to the mix,

 

betterthanstark: things get spicy

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Spicy?

 

pparker: yeah....spicy

 

Thunderer: Shall I regale them with the time you tried to run away from Asgard by turning into a salmon, Loki?

 

Trickster God: I would have escaped if you had not stopped me.

 

Steve: You can shapeshift into animals too?

 

Trickster God: Of course.

 

Thunderer: It's gotten him into some....special situations in the past.

 

Trickster God: SLEIPNIR IS A GIFT YOU SWINE

 

Thunderer: I never said he wasn't, brother. I love him very much.

 

Trickster God: On with the story, I suppose.

 

Thunderer: Loki pranked one too many people, so he was forced into hiding. When father and I came alone to find him, he ran to a riverbed and transformed into a salmon with his magic.

 

Trickster God: I was trying to swim to a sea and live either there or around that area.

 

Steve: You were willing to live life as a salmon?

 

Trickster God: Yes, and I would have succeeded if it weren't for those meddling kids.

 

pparker: I LOVE YOU YOU ARE MY LORD AND SAVIOR

 

Trickster God: Awww I know

 

Thunderer: So father and I searched for him using nets, but he still eluded us. That is when I myself stepped into the river and fished Loki out using my hands alone.

 

Trickster God: He held on very tightly. It hurt so much.

 

Thunderer: Apologies, brother.

 

Trickster God: I hate you

 

Thunderer: D:

 

The one and only Hawkeye: LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONEEEEE

 

Trickster God: Apologies, Thor.

 

Thunderer: :D

 

Trickster God: That's enough of that story I suppose.

 

pparker: Aww come on these are really funny ned is laughing so hard right now please do more?????

 

Trickster God: If I must. Oh, woe is me. The burden of life is heavy.

 

pparker: KEJFOIAPHGINK

 

Thunderer: There was the time you played that marvelous game of tug of war with a goat.

 

Trickster God: Hmmmm yes I suppose I did

 

BlackWidow21: Didn't you use something that wasn't your hands to play?

 

I am Iron Man: What did he do, play with his feet? How would he hope to win that way?

 

Thunderer: Anyway, a couple of warriors had slain a giant, and his daughter, Skadi, had come seeking vengeance on our ranks. After very impressive negotiating, she agreed for reparations.

 

Trickster God: She would get the husband of her choosing, but she had to decide based solely on his feet.

 

Steve: That is no grounds to base a healthy marriage on.

 

Trickster God: Whatever. We really didn't care at that point. Her father's face was also sketched into the stars, and we had to try to make her laugh.

 

Trickster God: Which was very hard.

 

Trickster God: And painful

 

betterthanstark: oof

 

samswallows: What happened?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Yeah you can't leave us hanging like that.

 

Thunderer: Basically, we all failed, and Loki was like "I got this." To make the giantess laugh, he tied a rope to a goat and surprisingly to his testicles.

 

I am Iron Man: he played tug of war with his testicles

 

pparker: owwww

 

Trickster God: ow is right. Skadi did laugh at my misery however. Typical. Completely typical.

 

Trickster God: and story times over go home

 

The one and only Hawkeye: aw please one more

 

Trickster God: no

 

Thunderer: I say we do one more.

 

Thunderer: There was the time you cut off Lady Sif's hair. She did not appreciate that, you know.

 

Trickster God: Of course I knew that you dimwit. I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

 

I am Iron Man: meanie

 

Thunderer: Anyway, Loki had to make the dwarves get her some new hair, but Loki, of course, doesn't know when to stop.

 

pparker: sameee

 

Thunderer: Loki traveled to a different coven of dwarves and bet his own head that they would be unable to craft anything as magnificent as the hair.

 

Trickster God: And of course those headstrong arses went right for the bait and made a multitude of ghastly items including my idiot brother's hammer.

 

Thunderer: Mjolnir is perfect. Back to the story, the dwarves were quite fed up with Loki, and they had won the bet. To keep him silent and to punish Loki, they sewed his lips together.

 

pparker: ....

 

pparker: They did what?

 

Trickster God: They took some string and laced my lips together like a shoe

 

The one and only Hawkeye: oh...did it hurt?

 

Trickster God: No.....having a needle break through layers upon layers of skin and tying the pieces of flesh tighter than they ever naturally would be was painless.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: forget I asked....

 

_Trickster God has left the group chat_

 

Thunderer: oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!


	10. The Face of the Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has stuff to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC

**6:23 pm**

_betterthanbucky is online_

_Steve is online_

_samswallows is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_pparker is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

betterthanbucky: Here

 

betterthanbucky: *insert pic https://www.google.com/search?client=tablet-android-verizon&biw=600&bih=960&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=0SFdW9DvOo75_Aap1rkw&q=bucky+barnes+face+funny&oq=bucky+barnes+face+funny&gs_=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i8i30.2197.3066..3670...0.0...443.1475.1j2j1j0j2......0....1.........0j0i30.avwZWF_quRs#imgrc=K57hjk1egesHpM:

 

betterthanbucky: You have been blessed.

 

samswallows: Who the fuck do you think you are?

 

Steve: There are children on this chat, Bucky!

 

samswallows: sorry

 

samswallows: WHOM the fuck do you think you are?

 

Steve: Nice picture, Sam.

 

samswallows: !!!!!!!

 

samswallows: Betrayed.....

 

samswallows: Heartbroken........

 

samswallows: You think you know someone.....

 

pparker: .....r u quoting a thomas sanders vine

 

samswallows: vine?

 

pparker: oh come on

 

pparker: u know what vine is

 

samswallows: ....ok

 

betterthanbucky: The pic is now my lock screen.

 

Steve: You can change the picture of your lock screen?

 

Steve: Teach me.

 

samswallows: BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH I TELL YOU THAT

 

pparker: U DO KNOW VINE

 

pparker: UR MY FAV OLD PERSON

 

samswallows: YES I AM APPRECIATED

 

pparker: besides the lady who bought me churros she was just awesome

 

samswallows: ow

 

samswallows: if I buy you churros will that win you over

 

pparker: .....maybe

 

samswallows: THE COOL KIDS ARE GONNA GET CHURROS LATER LOSERS

 

betterthanbucky: hmmmm what 'kids'? I see 1 kid and 1 senior citizen

 

betterthanbucky: wow ignoring me now

 

betterthanbucky: I guess it is time

 

betterthanbucky: to put

 

betterthanbucky: another photo or two or three

 

BlackWidow21: Please

 

betterthanbucky: *insert pic https://www.google.com/search?client=tablet-android-verizon&biw=600&bih=960&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=0SFdW9DvOo75_Aap1rkw&q=bucky+barnes+face+funny&oq=bucky+barnes+face+funny&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i8i30.2197.3066..3670...0.0...443.1475.1j2j1j0j2......0....1.........0j0i30.avwZWF_quRs#imgrc=jwayIj6rGvYYeM:

 

betterthanbucky: *insert pic https://www.google.com/search?client=tablet-android-verizon&biw=600&bih=960&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=0SFdW9DvOo75_Aap1rkw&q=bucky+barnes+face+funny&oq=bucky+barnes+face+funny&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i8i30.2197.3066..3670...0.0...443.1475.1j2j1j0j2......0....1.........0j0i30.avwZWF_quRs#imgrc=1bCqz5wwQ6mh5M:

 

I am Iron Man: I WILL MAKE THESE THE BACKGROUND FOR EVERY STARK PHONE STARK TABLET STARK ANYTHING

 

Steve: Tony no

 

Steve: Tony what would Pepper say?

 

I am Iron Man: It doesn't matter what Pepper would say.

 

Steve: Only because you know she would say no.

 

pparker: exPOSED

 

I am Iron Man: No because I don't need that kind of negativity in MY life

 

BlackWidow21: Hmmmm

 

BlackWidow21: Tony did you know that Rhodes is letting the suit he took rust.

 

I am Iron Man: My suits don't rust

 

BlackWidow21: tell that to Rhodes

 

I am Iron Man: RHODEYYYYY

 

**7:03 pm**

_Rhodster is online_

 

Rhodster: what

 

I am Iron Man: Are you letting my suit rust?

 

Rhodster: No

 

I am Iron Man: But Nat said you were

 

BlackWidow21: Well Nat was lying

 

Rhodster: Clearly

 

Rhodster: I would never let them rust.

 

betterthanbucky: Do you two need some alone time? Maybe a room?

 

Steve: THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS GROUP CHAT

 

pparker: tHEre ArE chiLDrEn On tHIs gROup CHAt

 

pparker: I'm 15 fifTEEN

 

samswallows: You tell him Peter

 

**7:19 pm**

_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

_Banner is online_

 

Trickster God: Your savior has arrived.

 

Banner: Whose savior?

 

Trickster God: shut up and kneel

 

Thunderer: Sister! I have found some pop tarts matching your synthetic

 

Trickster God: You mean aesthetic? I'm listening

 

Thunderer: BEHOLD! JOLLY RANCHER GREEN APPLE POP TARTS!!!

 

Thunderer: *insert selfie of Thor pointing to pop tarts in a store and smiling widely*

 

Thunderer: You should try them. It is quite the Midgardian delicacy.

 

Trickster God: ....and they are green?

 

Thunderer: yes, sister

 

Trickster God: gimme

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!
> 
> Please tell me if the links don't work! I suck at tech


	11. Adding Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More people are added to the equation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is ooc!

**4:13 am**

_pparker is online  
_

_pparker added guyinthechair_

_pparker added mj-blm_

 

guyinthechair: Hey peter what is this

 

pparker: It's the group Shuri and I made.

 

guyinthechair: The one with the Avengers?????

 

pparker: yup

 

guyinthechair: ADDFEADFEAO;IJE REALLY?

 

pparker: yeah

 

mj-blm: Then why are we in here? We're not Avengers.

 

pparker: That doesn't really matter

 

pparker: Shuri and i made this we r its gods

 

pparker: and as chatroom god I say you can be here

 

guyinthechair: Good enough for me

 

**4:18 am**

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

 

I am Iron Man: What are you guys doing awake at this hour?

 

pparker: You're awake too, Mr. Stark. I could ask Dr. Banner to lecture you on your circadian rhythm again.

 

I am Iron Man: And I could tell Aunt Hottie that you're staying up all night on school nights on your phone

 

I am Iron Man: But I won't if you won't

 

pparker: ...

 

pparker: deal

 

I am Iron Man: Great! These are Ned and MJ, right?

 

mj-blm: That's right

 

guyinthechair: You remembered my name?

 

I am Iron Man: Of course, you two are underoos best friends.

 

I am Iron Man: What kind of a mentor would I be if I couldn't remember his friends' names?

 

betterthanstark: A normal one. Most mentors and teachers do not know every detail about their student's personal lives.

 

pparker: Shuri? When did you get here? I didnt see you come in

 

pparker: r u creeping

 

betterthanstark: no my brother forced me away from my phone for a short while before I could go offline, but i am here now

 

mj-blm: Hello, Princess Shuri.

 

**4:26 am**

betterthanstark: Remember the interview you had with my brother and I? We both told you that such titles were unnecessary among friends

 

mj-blm: Thanks. The interview was really interesting; I learned a lot.

 

betterthanstark: Great! I heard that your decathlon team did well

 

mj-blm: We did and got to go to DC

 

mj-blm: I didn't participate in some of the tours, but spiderman showed up

 

mj-blm: and honestly I don't know how everyone didn't notice that he was peter

 

pparker: I am not that obvious

 

I am Iron Man: You can be sometimes.

 

pparker: Mr. Stark???? Why are you teaming up with her

 

guyinthechair: I probably don't help that much

 

guyinthechair: I do ask peter a lot of spiderman related questions at school

 

pparker: BUT THE POINT IS NO ONE HAS CAUGHT ON YET

 

**4:35 am**

mj-blm: And what will you do when they figure it out?

 

pparker: They won't

 

mj-blm: but you're so obvious

 

betterthanstark: I think he's relying on the others remaining stupid

 

betterthanstark: Which is not a good thing to rely on you sad white boy

 

_Trickster God is online_

 

Trickster God: Hello it is I

 

pparker: Loki! Can you tell them that no one will figure out that I'm spiderman?

 

Trickster God: Well, if you continue being so flippant with the information, they might.

 

pparker: nooooo ur supposed to be on my side

 

Trickster God: I serve no side except for my own. I side with whichever side benefits me.

 

guyinthechair: like an antihero!

 

Trickster God: A what?

 

Trickster God: Okay wait

 

Trickster God: Thor's a hero, and anti is opposing. So I would be antiThor, opposing Thor, the side against Thor

 

Trickster God: Adequate

 

pparker: And that means that you aren't a villain

 

Trickster God: I believe that there are some who would disagree.

 

**4:47 am**

mj-blm: They're ignorant, behind the times

 

pparker: Besides you always had like a crap ton of fangirls

 

Trickster God: What?

 

pparker: Like a lot of people loved the six Avengers when I was younger, but a lot of people are a sucker for a villain

 

pparker: Never out in the open tho cause people still thought you were responsible for the damage

 

pparker: But that leaked footage with you monologuing and shit?

 

pparker: people love that

 

Trickster God: So if I want people to like me, I have to be a villain?

 

Trickster God: But I thought more people liked me when I wasn't murdering people

 

pparker: Naturally. Killing people doesn't make them happy; it just makes them dead

 

pparker: but people love stories of villains who reform themselves into heros....it convinces them that whatever they feel guilty about is redeemable

 

Trickster God: What do you mean?

 

pparker: There are people all over the world who struggle with the small things. There are ex-cons who are trying to find a new name for themselves, and stories where the villain reforms themselves can show them that they can too

 

pparker: it's all about inspiration

 

Trickster God: You're saying that because I was once bad....i inspire people to be good?

 

pparker: Exactly

 

Trickster God: .....

 

Trickster God: I thank you

 

**4:52 am**

I am Iron Man: Couldn't have said it better myself kid

 

guyinthechair: Wait Mr. Stark sir Iron man didn't you leave?

 

pparker: ya ur such a creeper mr stark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!


	12. Mario Kart and Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a game and a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC

**11:03 pm**

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_pparker is online_

_betterthanstark is online_

_guyinthechair is online_

_mj-blm is online_

_Steve is online_

_samswallows is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

 

The one and only Hawkeye: what the shit why are these kids so good

 

samswallows: At what????

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Mario kart

 

The one and only Hawkeye: *insert pic of the teens playing rainbow road*

 

The one and only Hawkeye: none of them have fallen off yet

 

Steve: You are being responsible, right Clint?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: what????

 

Steve: From the looks of it, you are the only adult in the room.

 

I am Iron Man: Yes, I delegated chaperoning the sleepover to Clint

 

pparker: why do we have to be chaperoned

 

betterthanbucky: Aren't you driving?

 

Steve: Texting and driving is quite dangerous, Peter.

 

pparker: I finished the game, guys

 

**11:17 pm**

samswallows: Did you fall?

 

pparker: nopeeeee

 

mj-blm: liar liar

 

mj-blm: he went down because of my turtle

 

samswallows: ahhh falling in games doesn't give you the same experience as falling off of real tracks

 

Steve: Bucky

 

samswallow: yes?

 

Steve: :'( 

 

samswallows: shit sorry Stevie

 

betterthanbucky: YOU FOOL LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE

 

samswallows: sorry STEVIEEE

 

**11:24 pm**

samswallows: has anyone seen the milk?

 

Steve: Are you cooking, Buck? It's time for bed.

 

samswallows: why are u awake then? Hmmm?

 

Steve: I'm reading

 

Steve: This is not a meal time buck

 

samswallows: ANYTIMES A MEAL TIME IF YOU EAT DURING IT

 

samswallows: tho but seriously where the Fuck did the goddamn milk go

 

Steve: Language

 

samswallows: you hypocritical fuck

 

I am Iron Man: I have no idea where your milk is. You could ask FRIDAY

 

samswallows: true that true that

 

Steve: ???

 

**11:35 pm**

samswallows: Sam I need the milk

 

betterthanbucky: You sure?

 

samswallows: Yes I have Mac and cheese cooking give me the fucking milk

 

betterthanbucky: nope

 

samswallows: STEVE TELL SAM THAT MY MAC AND CHEESE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIS EGO

 

samswallows: WHICH IS SO INCREDIBLY LARGE

 

samswallows: IF I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF I WOULD JUMP FROM HIS EGO TO HIS IQ

 

betterthanbucky: ok ow no milk for whiny babies

 

samswallows: I am not a whiny baby

 

betterthanbucky: then no milk for you

 

samswallows: but you said that I would get some if I wasn't a whiny baby

 

betterthanbucky: no I didn't

 

betterthanbucky: NO MILK FOR FORMER RUSSIAN ASSASSINS NAMED AFTER A COLD SEASON

 

**11:42 pm**

 

samswallows: Steve mY MAC AND CHEESE HELP

 

Steve: Sam

 

betterthanbucky: *insert video of Sam chugging milk while chilling on a bed*

 

Steve: Why do I even try?

 

samswallows: Sammmm I need a quarter cup of milk

 

samswallows: and I will get it no matter what

 

samswallows: Even if I have to rip you open and sift through the contents of your stomachs

 

Steve: BUCKY

 

betterthanbucky: I feel attacked

 

samswallows: if I don't get my milk in five min ur done for

 

**12:04 am**

samswallows: I got my Mac and cheese now and I only had to Kill one tiny falcon to get it

 

samswallows: and by tiny I mean tiny in that special place

 

betterthanbucky: Stfu u nearly cried like a baby when I didn't give u milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!


	13. Dynasty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC. Sorry for long update! School is roughhhh
> 
>  
> 
> Dynasty is MIIA's

**4:14 pm**  


_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

_Banner is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_Steve is online_

_  
_

Trickster God: brother help

  


Thunderer: Loki? Are you in danger?

  


I am Iron Man: Do I have to assemble the team?

  


Steve: I would be the one to assemble the team, Tony, but that isn't important right now.

  


Trickster God: I was ripping music off from youtube like you do

  


Steve: That is illegal, Loki.

  


Trickster God: So is destroying NYC

  


Steve: Touché

  


I am Iron Man: don't get started on what is or isn't legal

  


I am Iron Man: Bucky has some stories that make you look a bit hypocritical cap

  


**4:25 pm**  


Banner: What happened, Loki?

  


Trickster God: this is a tHOR SITUATION

  


Thunderer: I am here!!!! What did the tube do?

  


Trickster God: IT MADE ME FEEL

  


Thunderer: Feel what?

  


Trickster God: FEELINGS

  


I am Iron Man: What a bitch

  


Steve: What was the content on?

  


Trickster God: it was just this stupid song

  


Thunderer: And it made you feel?

  


Trickster God: yeESSS

  


Thunderer: Which song was it? I will destroy its creator.

  


Steve: NO

  


Steve: DONT DO IT

  


Banner: YEAH LISTEN TO HIM

  


I am Iron Man: yo but seriously what song was it

  


I am Iron Man: im always a slut for songs that make me cry

  


Steve: Tony, you've been spending too much time with Peter

  


I am Iron Man: he's a cool kid

  


I am Iron Man: Loki?

  


**4:38 pm**  


Trickster God: dynasty by miia

  


Thunderer: I shall search this song and figure out how to destroy it.

  


Trickster God: You don't need to destroy it. 

  


Thunderer: But it made you feel.

  


Trickster God: All art should

  


Steve: He does have a point.

  


Banner: And it would be nice if you didn't, you know, murder someone

  


**4:42 pm**

I am Iron Man: Wow, that song made me so nostalgic what a time to be alive

  


Thunderer: And this made you feel?

  


Trickster God: I RELATED TOO MUCH TO IT

  


Trickster God: HER VOICE IS ART AND HER WORDS WERE CRY

  


Thunderer: Her words were cry?

  


Trickster God: IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT WHAT ONCE WAS AND WHAT IS

  


Thunderer: You recognized the similarities between the music and our past?

  


Trickster God: YES

  


Thunderer: But our dynasty is not over. You said it yourself that the light would shine on us again, and it did.

  


Trickster God: It's never good enough

  


Trickster God: There was no happy beginning, middle, or end

  


Thunderer: You are not at the end.

  


Trickster God: And I already know it won't be happy.

  


I am Iron Man: How about we do something to alleviate this tension?

  


Banner: And here I was thinking that you were depression's bitch

  


I am Iron Man: only on weekends or nights or when bad shit happens or when I am left alone with my thoughts

  


Banner: So all the time?

  


I am Iron Man: I mean I guess

  


I am Iron Man: but you didn't have to attack me like that

  


_pparker is online_  


  


I am Iron Man: God brucie I thought we were friends

  


 pparker: I thought you were bae...turns out your just fam

  


Banner: I am confused

  


Trickster God: Bruh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments make me happy!


	14. Frisbee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisbeeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it
> 
> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC

**3:13 pm**

_I am Iron Man is online_

_pparker is online_

_guyinthechair is online_

_mj-blm is online_

_betterthanstark is online_

_Rhodster is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

 

BlackWidow21: Tony, are you aware of what Steve, Sam, and Bucky are doing?

 

pparker: it's so entertaining to watch

 

I am Iron Man: ????

 

I am Iron Man: What are they doing???

 

betterthanstark: Ya what they doing

 

Rhodster: They seem to be.....playing

 

I am Iron Man: Steve's playing without me??? And here I thought we were done competing for the title of bestie

 

guyinthechair: I could totally be your bestie

 

pparker: BUT NED UR MY BESTIE

 

guyinthechair: but....tony stark

 

pparker: a fair point

 

pparker: u may proceed

 

betterthanstark: Your mission has been blessed

 

mj-blm: Why does it matter who is the 'bestie?'

 

**3:19 pm**

mj-blm: All that should matter is the fact that it is friendship

 

BlackWidow21: Exactly. But Tony I'm serious you have to see what they are doing.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: It will brighten your life

 

I am Iron Man: My entire life?

 

I am Iron Man: What I'm flying out to see will brighten my entire life?

 

The one and only Hawkeye: yesssss

 

betterthanstark: Hold on what are u going to see????

 

**3:22 pm**

I am Iron Man: oh my god

 

pparker: Ikr? #blessed to live at the same time as those guys

 

mj-blm: whatever you're doing needs to stop

 

I am Iron Man: Is this safe?

 

BlackWidow21: Probably not, but strictly speaking, they are not breaking any park rules.

 

Rhodster: They should really check that out

 

Rhodster: Cause that should definitely be illegal

 

betterthanstark: WHAT ARE THEY DOING????

 

pparker: oh right sorry shuri theyre playing frisbee

 

betterthanstark: .....

 

betterthanstark: Western humor confuses me

 

I am Iron Man: *insert video of Sam, Steve, and Bucky throwing around a frisbee while doing flips and sprinting and parkour. They are throwing the frisbee at high speeds*

 

Rhodster: Their games always get so out of hand

 

betterthanstark: oh hell yes I know what I'm going to do today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome!


	15. Peppermint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's pissy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, so sorry if anyone is OOC

**12:32 pm**

_betterthanstark is online_

_guyinthechair is online_

_mj-blm is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_Steve is online_

_betterthanbucky is online_

_samswallows is online_

_The one and only Hawkeye is online_

_Vision is online_

_Scarlet Witch is online_

_King of Wakanda is online_

_BlackWidow21 is online_

_Banner is online_

 

 

guyinthechair: Guys does peter have any allergies

 

I am Iron Man: ?????

 

mj-blm: idk =

 

I am Iron Man: why

 

mj-blm: you've known him longest

 

guyinthechair: ya but he's never done this before?

 

Steve: Is something wrong with him?

 

Banner: What signs and symptoms are he showing?

 

guyinthechair: idk.....he's just acting weird

 

samswallows: is he acting how someone would with an allergic reaction

 

mj-blm: Definitely not

 

samswallows: Ok what is he doing?

 

mj-blm: um he's just acting like a vampire

 

King of Wakanda: What do you mean?

 

mj-blm: So Ned had this thing, and immediately when he opened it, Peter just sort of screeched and ran away.

 

betterthanstark: ......wtf peter

 

mj-blm: Anyway we can't find him and class will start soon so hes screwed

 

**12:40 pm**

betterthanbucky: So you are saying that Peter just....ran away? That doesn't sound like him. Or an allergic reaction for that matter

 

guyinthechair: well i didn't know wtf he was doing soooooo u can't blame me

 

The one and only Hawkeye: He's got a point. Kid doesn't have a medical degree.

 

Banner: Can I ask what it was that caused him to run away?

 

BlackWidow21: Yeah we need to know if he has a weakness we haven't discovered yet.

 

I am Iron Man: Is he hurt?

 

guyinthechair: I don't think so. Just....vampiric

 

I am Iron Man: Good. Should I come try to find him?

 

Steve: They have it under control, Tony.

 

Steve: You don't need to drop everything and run as soon as Peter shows the slightest sign of being harmed in a small way.

 

I am Iron Man: I don't do that.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Says the man how dropped everything and ran to Midtown when you heard that Peter got a paper cut in his math class.

 

I am Iron Man: It could have gotten infected

 

The one and only Hawkeye: #TonyStarkHasAHeart

 

I am Iron Man: #OnlyForPeter

 

I am Iron Man: Fight me bitches

 

Banner: What was it that Peter was so affected by again?

 

**12:47 pm**

Scarlet Witch: That is right. They never said what it was.

 

Vision: I do have some theories.

 

Scarlet Witch: I think it would be faster just to hear it from the kids.

 

samswallows: girl please you yourself are nearly a kid

 

Scarlet Witch: At least I'm not over 100

 

samswallows: Steve and I are going for longest living human.

 

samswallows: Don't fuck with us

 

samswallows: Or kill us for that matter cause that would ruin our plan

 

samswallows: @thanos

 

betterthanbucky: bitch what the fuck is that

 

betterthanbucky: does that motherfucking grape have a phone???

 

samswallows: nope i just felt like calling him out

 

betterthanstark: you exPOSED HIM

 

**12:53 pm**

BlackWidow21: You guys are going off on a tangent again.

 

Vision: I agree. What was the substance? We never got an answer.

 

guyinthechair: Oh shit sorry

 

Steve: Language

 

I am Iron Man: lANguAgE

 

Steve: This doesn't involve you

 

I am Iron Man: tHIs dOEsN't INvoLVe yOu

 

Steve: You've been hanging out with Peter too much

 

Scarlet Witch: GUYS WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING

 

Steve: Oh shit, right. My bad. Sorry.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: Language~~~~~~my dear senior citizen

 

The one and only Hawkeye: We wouldn't want young and innocent ears to be corrupted by your sinful words. :)

 

Steve: Shut up

 

samswallows: stevieeee getting exposed like a hypocriteeeeee

 

Steve: You're supposed to be on my side.

 

Scarlet Witch: Guys, focus! Be lovie dovie sometime else. What was it, Ned?

 

guyinthechair: It was a peppermint

 

BlackWidow21: Of course, why didn't we realize sooner?

 

BlackWidow21: Oh, that's right, it's because the group chat is populated by morons.

 

The one and only Hawkeye: You wound me nat

 

mj-blm: Why would it be peppermint?

 

I am Iron Man: Yeah I'm confused

 

**1:01 pm**

Banner: Peppermint is a natural spider-repellent. People use it all the time in their houses to keep them out.

 

I am Iron Man: ohhhhhhhh

 

I am Iron Man: We need to make peppermint illegal

 

Steve: Tony no

 

Steve: That won't solve anything

 

I am Iron Man: Yes it would

 

Scarlet Witch: So you are saying that the mutations caused by the spider bite have made it so that Peter reacts in the same way to peppermint as spiders?

 

Banner: That's what it seems like, yeah.

 

betterthanbucky: Is there anything else we should be made aware of?

 

mj-blm: Nah that's about it over here. Ned's getting rid of his stupid peppermint, so we can look for Peter again.

 

BlackWidow21: You were searching for Peter with the peppermint?

 

mj-blm: Yeah not our smartest move

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	16. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk anymore but school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses other than that in which I was roasting in Hell

**12:05 am**

_pparker is online_

_mj-blm is online_

_Vision is online_

 

pparker: plz kill me mj

 

mj-blm: k bitch but only if I arrange for me to die too

 

Vision: I am concerned.

 

mj-blm: shhhh we got this

 

Vision: Should I notify an adult?

 

pparker: nahhhh let us die in this hole we dug like true warriors

 

Vision: And why are awake at this hour?

 

mj-blm: ummmm we have school tomorrow?

 

Vision: Should that not encourage a good night of rest?

 

pparker: nopeeee cause now is homework time

 

Vision: That seems most unproductive. Why not do homework during the day?

 

pparker: We do that too lol but I just got back from patrol and now there is more work

 

Vision: Does school give too much homework?

 

mj-blm: YES

 

mj-blm: YES IT DOES

 

mj-blm: PREACH MOTHERFUCKER

 

Vision: This is concerning.

 

Vision: And it correlates to your worrying humor?

 

Vision: That is a growing trend among the younger generation in numerous social media.

 

pparker: ummm i guess so

 

Vision: How?

 

pparker: ....

 

pparker: mj can explain better

 

mj-blm: the world is dying and we r all going to be poor af for the rest of our lives and racism and sexism and transphobia and homophobia and islamophobia and more r things that exist and r highly prevalent in our society so ya we make some concerning jokes sometimes

 

pparker: yep thats the tea sis

 

pparker: dark depressing tea as cold and unwelcoming as my soul

 

**12:17 am**

Vision: I believe an adult should be made aware of this.

 

Vision: One moment.

 

pparker: what have we done

 

pparker: nuuuuu

 

_betterthanbucky is online_

 

betterthanbucky: Hey kids

 

betterthanbucky: You all seem to be having a difficult time.

 

mj-blm: im having a difficult life

 

pparker: @me

 

betterthanbucky: However, it is 12:20 am.

 

betterthanbucky: No work is important enough to sacrifice your health for.

 

pparker: mr stark does it all the time tho

 

betterthanbucky: Tony isn't always the best influence. He's got a heart of gold but the self-preservation instincts of arsenic.

 

pparker: !!!! i feel attacked on his behalf

 

betterthanbucky: Point is, the world won't collapse if you treat yourself the way you would treat others.

 

mj-blm: my hw? unfinished. my future? non-existent.

 

pparker: hotel? trivago

 

**12:30 am**

Vision: He does make good points, children.

 

pparker: ....but no

 

pparker: I gotta finish my hw 

 

betterthanbucky: Are you going to fail your class if you miss this assignment? I can ask your aunt to write you a note. Tony would probably write one too.

 

pparker: Well no

 

mj-blm: he doesnt want to disappoint stark

 

betterthanbucky: Oh.

 

betterthanbucky: He would never be disappointed in you for putting your health first.

 

betterthanbucky: In fact, that is what he is encouraging. Tony actually is afraid that you will pick up his self destructive habits.

 

betterthanbucky: Putting yourself first would make him proud.

 

pparker: this is so awkward

 

Vision: Knowing them, it is very likely that your suit will be confiscated if your health suffers.

 

pparker: ill just take like 5 5 hour energies

 

mj-blm: twenTY FIVE HOUR ENERGY

 

betterthanbucky: How about no?

 

betterthanbucky: Teens need sleep. Where is Ned?

 

mj-blm: he gave up on life and embraced a temporary death

 

betterthanbucky: So he is asleep?

 

pparker: yep

 

betterthanbucky: Good. Follow suit, kids.

 

pparker: but I'm not tired.

 

betterthanbucky: You will be tomorrow.

 

pparker: sounds like a tomorrow problem then

 

betterthanbucky: I'll tell Tony.

 

pparker: nooo

 

pparker: shit

 

pparker: zzzzzz

 

mj-blm: weak

 

betterthanbucky: Don't hold out to much, kiddos, because we will be talking about all this crap during the day.

 

mj-blm: how bout nah

 

mj-blm: tho it would be amusing to draw peter when that happens

 

mj-blm: hmmmm

 

mj-blm: I've been convinced

 

mj-blm: zzz zzz

 

betterthanbucky: Oh thank god

 

betterthanbucky: Yo, Vis, since we're both up do you want to get some ice cream from the freezer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	17. Oppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oppy is dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses and own nothing

**3:13 pm**

_pparker is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_guyinthechair is online_

_Banner is online_

pparker: im sad

 

guyinthechair: same pete same

 

Banner: What's wrong, kids?

 

pparker: OPPYS DEAD

 

I am Iron Man: .....

 

I am Iron Man: Are you refering to the Mars Opportunity Rover?

 

pparker: YES

 

pparker: IT SANG ITSELF HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNUALLY

 

pparker: ALL ALONE

 

pparker: ON A PLANET WITH NO LIFE FORMS

 

guyinthechair: it must have been so lonely for oppy.....

 

pparker: i am gutted

 

Banner: Kids, it's okay. It did its job, fulfilled its purpose.

 

I am Iron Man: Kids do have a point though

 

Banner: Tony, what? We're cheering them up right now.

 

I am Iron Man: What can I say? I love machines and technology.

 

**3:24 pm**

_betterthanstark is online_

betterthanstark: IT SAID MY BATTERY IS LOW AND ITS GETTING DARK

 

betterthanstark: it sounded so human in its final moments...

 

pparker: :( mr stark im sad

 

I am Iron Man: me too kiddo

 

Banner: ....

 

Banner: You know what? I might be a little bit sad too.

 

betterthanstark: Grieve with us

 

guyinthechair: never again will it sing happy birthday to itself

 

pparker: im shook

 

**5:17 pm**

_Steve is online_

_samswallows is online_

_betterthanbucky is online  
_

samswallows: ....what did I just stumble on

 

betterthanstark: grief white wolf grief

 

pparker: we're trying to bring oppy back

 

pparker: cause there is no way we will ever reach the acceptance stage

 

pparker: I personally was thinking that we could harness the power of shaggy to bring them back but no one else seems to think that would work

 

betterthanbucky: Did you just say Shaggy?

 

betterthanbucky: Like as in Shaggy from Scooby Doo?

 

betterthanstark: the one and the same

 

pparker: everyone else shies away from the raw power of shaggy

 

pparker: no other candidate would be able to complete this task

 

Steve: Kids, he is only a cartoon. And Oppy was only a rover.

 

I am Iron Man: OPPY WAS MORE THAN JUST A ROVER

 

Steve: Great, you're condoning this?

 

I am Iron Man: YES I AM

 

I am Iron Man: FIGHT ME OLD MAN

 

**5:30 pm**

betterthanbucky: not this again

 

samswallows: steve I swear to god if u fight stark I will punt ur sorry ass into next week

 

Steve: I'm not going to fight Tony.

 

samswallows: u better not

 

I am Iron Man: You guys just don't understand the beauty of machinery.

 

pparker: Oppy had so much more to live for, so much more to see

 

pparker: and now it is gone, just like my hopes and dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated!


	18. Black Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pic is out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing

**2:20 pm**

_guyinthechair is online  
_

_pparker is online_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_Banner is online_

_Thunderer is online_

_Trickster God is online_

pparker: has anyone else seen the pic of the black hole yet????

 

guyinthechair: Yessss :)

 

pparker: like i want a black hole to destroy the planet now

 

pparker: it is so smexy

 

Thunderer: Why would you want Earth to be destroyed?

 

Trickster God: They are being humorous, brother.

 

Trickster God: And I wish them the best of luck in achieving their desire

 

I am Iron Man: Are you saying you want Earth destroyed?

 

I am Iron Man: You passive-aggressive fuck

 

Trickster God: that's me!

 

**2:08 pm**

Trickster God: What is the big deal about a simple image though?

 

Banner: It is the first picture of a black hole we have managed to get.

 

Trickster God: Are you serious? It has taken you this long?

 

I am Iron Man: ....did you guys know what a black hole looks like and nOT TELL ME???

 

Thunderer: I did not think you would be interested in such trivial things.

 

Thunderer: Sorry?

 

pparker: MR THOR IS FORGIVEN

 

I am Iron Man: but he knew what they look like

 

pparker: wtf ANTHONY MR THOR IS FORGIVEN

 

**2:15 pm**

 

guyinthechair: ajfhjdidhwhsk did you just anthony him?

 

I am Iron Man: Kid, when I said you should call me by my name, I meant Tony.

 

pparker: is that your legal name? I THINK NOT

 

I am Iron Man: Of course it isn't kid

 

pparker: THE DEFENDANT CLAIMS TO BE GUILTY

 

guyinthechair: Peter what you on

 

pparker: black hole pics

 

pparker: mr stark can I have a black hole

 

pparker: plz?

 

I am Iron Man: so it is Mr stark now

 

I am Iron Man: Why would you want a black hole? You would die if you got anywhere close to it.

 

pparker: sounds like a nice vacation trip tbh

 

Trickster God: Ah, the humor. I stan.

 

Thunderer: What does that mean?

 

Trickster God: Look it up.

 

**2:36 pm**

Thunderer: Brother, it isn't anywhere in the dictionary!

 

Trickster God: On. The. Internet.

 

Thunderer: Oh.

 

Banner: Loki, why can't you just tell him what it means?

 

Trickster God: It's more fun this way, Banner.

 

Thunderer: I HAVE FOUND THE DEFINITION!

 

pparker: i stan u mr thor

 

pparker: just like i stan black holes

 

guyinthechair: similarities?

 

pparker: smexiness level

 

Trickster God: Thor? Smexy?

 

pparker: dont worry mr loki i stan u too

pparkebut that black hole tho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments anf suggestions make me happy!


	19. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

**12:42 pm**

_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

_Banner is online_

_pparker is online_

_Steve is online  
_

Thunderer: Brother, when we met with Dr. Strange, why did you not use your magic to defend yourself?

 

Trickster God: Because

 

Thunderer: ?

 

Steve: He probably doesn't want to talk about it.

 

Trickster God: He's right.

 

Thunderer: Brother, I am confused.

 

Trickster God: You usually are.

 

pparker: ajfbxjisjdje #murderedbywords

 

pparker: buT I STILL LOVE MR THOR

 

Thunderer: You also didn't use your magic against Thanos...you said you forgot about it.

 

Trickster God: And?

 

Thunderer: I'm concerned.

 

**12:51 pm**

Trickster God: You really want me to tell you?

 

Thunderer: Yes

 

Trickster God: I couldn't. For some reason I couldn't.

 

Thunderer: What do you mean? You had no problem imitating Father.

 

Trickster God: That's true, but I don't know why I couldn't against the asshole. It only got worse with Thanos.

 

Banner: Do you want me to look you over or something?

 

Trickster God: Would you know how to fix me?

 

Banner: Maybe

 

Trickster God: Probably not

 

Thunderer: Did Dr. Strange do something?

 

 Trickster God: No.

 

Thunderer: Then, what could have caused it?

 

Trickster God: I was ill at the time. It got worse when En Dwi Gast was with me.

 

Steve: Did they do something? Who is En Dwi Gast?

 

Thunderer: The Grandmaster

 

Trickster God: He did do something; I don't know what.

 

Banner: Are you sure you don't want me to look at you?

 

**1:07 pm**

Thunderer: It would probably be a good idea, brother.

 

Trickster God: I don't care.

 

Thunderer: :'(

 

Trickster God: Are. You. Kidding. Me.

 

pparker: I think you should do it, Mr. Loki.

 

Thunderer: :'(

 

Trickster God: Fine.

 

Banner: Great! When do you want me to come over?

 

Trickster God: You are literally sitting next to me.

 

Trickster God: And Thor is sitting across the room.

 

Trickster God: Why are we even texting?

 

pparker: it's easier than talking out loud

 

Steve: You youths need to talk to each other and not text.

 

Banner: Let me get my stuff, and I'll do it now.

 

Trickster God: So. Much. Fun.

 

Steve: Talk to each other!!!!

 

Thunderer: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	20. Fatherly Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki....bitchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

**4:56 pm**

_Trickster God is online_

_Thunderer is online_

_Banner is online  
_

_I am Iron Man is online_

_Steve is online_

_betterthanbucky is online  
_

Trickster God: Would someone do the honors of striking me down?

 

I am Iron Man: And they say I'M the drama queen

 

Trickster God: You could only wish to be as dramatic as me

 

Trickster God: Don't you have a spiderling who is probably up to shit right now?

 

I am Iron Man: I can see him perfectly fine, thank you very much. He's doing homework on the ceiling.

 

Trickster God: Joy. Will you destroy me now?

 

Thunderer: Bruce is just going to take a look at you, brother.

 

Trickster God: ewww

 

Banner: ?

 

Trickster God: attention

 

I am Iron Man: You literally just claimed to be the biggest drama queen of all.

 

Trickster God: I'm not a drama queen to get attention. It is only for my own personal amusement.

 

Thunderer: You should see him act out emotional movie scenes in the shower.

 

Trickster God: I act so beautifully, Thor.

 

Thunderer: That is true. You have also proved to be quite a talented director.

 

Trickster God: :)

 

Thunderer: :)

 

Banner: I'm about ready for you, Loki.

 

Trickster God: :(

 

**5:14 pm**

betterthanbucky: What are you looking for?

 

Banner: ...Abnormalities

 

Trickster God: He has no idea what he is doing. He's just torturing me.

 

Banner: I'm concerned about you.

 

Trickster God: i'M COncErNED aBOUt yOU

 

Banner: You mocking me?

 

Trickster God: Oh no, what gave it away?

 

Thunderer: Brother, please do this peacefully. Do you want your magic back?

 

Trickster God: Obviously

 

Thunderer: Then, why are you lashing out at the person trying to help you?

 

Steve: I have an idea.

 

I am Iron Man: Creeper much?

 

Steve: Shush

 

_Steve has added Scott Lang_

_Scott Lang is online_

 

Scott Lang: Hello?

 

betterthanbucky: Hello, welcome to the most badass group chat in existence. Please help, Loki....bitchy

 

Scott Lang: I see.

 

**5:25 pm**

_Scott Lang has changed their name to Best Dad Ever  
_

 

Best Dad Ever: Why are you being a bitch?

 

Trickster God: Because Banner wants to examine me. He is unqualified to do so.

 

Best Dad Ever: What harm could come from it?

 

Trickster God: my PRIDE?

 

Trickster God: I'll have you know that shit has been going down these last few years.

 

betterthanbucky: In what ways?

 

I am Iron Man: ooo, they're tag teaming

 

Trickster God: In what ways? Hon, I've been possessed, imprisoned, tortured, and assaulted in horrific ways. Let me be a bitch

 

Steve: Possessed?

 

Trickster God: During New York

 

Thunderer: Your eyes were blue...

 

Thunderer: I apologize for not noticing. I'm a bad brother.

 

**5:34 pm**

Trickster God: You are not a bad brother.

 

Trickster God: I'm just tired of being used.

 

Best Dad Ever: We can ask Banner to take it slow. It doesn't have to be overwhelming.

 

Banner: He's right

 

Trickster God: I don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions welcome!
> 
>  
> 
> EXPERIENCING TECH DIFFICULTIES AS THE MAJORITY OF THE CHAPPIE IS BEING CUT OUT. I WILL TRY TO FIGURE THIS OUT.


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